Bag Lunch
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27 comments
Free to a good home: Friday’s lunch.
There are all sorts of interesting side effects that come with a year of sleep deprivation, side effects such as constantly feeling tired, fuzzy and distracted. Rising is a bit of a struggle, and I’ve often joked that I am not fully awake until my tires roll out of the driveway and touch the street in front of our house. Last week offered me the opportunity to put that statement to the test.
I should install a video camera (actually, I am – but in the dog room) in our kitchen so all could witness the mad dash that is the start of my day. I usually crash at 2 am and rise around 7:30, leaving me very little time before I depart for work. I do not travel light: my daily haul includes a laptop bag, camera, lunch bag (I can’t bring myself to buy a proper lunchbox, no idea why. Instead I use leftover paper shopping bags. I believe today’s was from Abercrombie.) iPod, cell, headset, and on and on it goes. I could use a man purse now that I think about it. Yeah, right. I do toss a few things in my lunch bag if my hands are full, usually finding room to pad my food with my cell, iPod or wallet.
There exists a morning collection ritual that finds me scampering about the house, near empty coffee mug in my grasp, eyes barely perceptible behind sagging lids as I try to quickly amass all that I require to survive the workday. My last collection stops on the way out are the sunroom and back porch. Ours is a teamwork arrangement: Mrs. Author leaves trash and recycling in the sunroom at night, and I collect it and bring it out in the morning. Likewise, as poop is scooped in the back yard it is placed in small, bright green, scented Arm & Hammer plastic bags (that I snagged on my trip to Blog Paws) on the back porch. I transport said bags along with garbage or recycling and deposit all in the trash cans in the garage before jumping in my car with my armload of work supplies. I’ve done this a few hundred times now, and it requires no thought whatsoever.
I completed that ritual in near record time Friday after oversleeping and awaking in a state of complete panic. When I arrived at the office a few minutes later I could hear my phone ringing from outside the door. I ran for it to avoid getting yet another voicemail. I then pulled out my laptop and locked it in the dock while I answered a few questions from a client. I was mildly distracted, and before I knew it the call was over and I was elbow deep in a pile of accumulated e-mail, the phones ringing off the hook as the entire office began to bustle. As is often the case, the lunch hour came and was far too busy, and it was 1:30 before I remembered that I needed to nourish myself in order to survive a few more hours of job stress.
I tossed my headset on the desk in front of me and muted the phone, reaching to grab my lunch bag from its usual resting place on the desk behind me while I checked e-mail. I felt around in the bag and thought it odd that my wife would send me to work with prunes for lunch. I decided to turn my chair around and get a look at my snacking selection. Staring back at me was the following:
There are all sorts of interesting side effects that come with a year of sleep deprivation. I wish to add distraction and dieting to my running list. All are welcome to my pasta salad and gummy bears.
are you implying that nigel’s you-know-what stinks? i think not!
My dogs have trained me well to take the garbage out to the garage before leaving the house! and oh my gosh that green bag of goodies…………Arm & Hammer must make a fantastic product!!
PS that license plate was parked at a car in the Alaska Court System’s employee parking garage… now that is saying something indeed! I was walking on an errand during the work day and always bring my camera. I cannot believe the things I see on license plates… Have an EFFING Good Monday!!!
Oh yummy
You should get more sleep. I think that is the lesson to be learned here. And your wife should get some pigs. But that is beside the point.
I think you should be very thankful that you’ve looked before you took a bite.
ooooOOOooo extra prunes for lunch
ahhh… it has sort of happen to me before… its sleep deprivation’s fault.. you better get some sleep. A whole year is a loooooooooong time to be with not enough rest 
That would have been a good day to work out a lunch trade. “Hey – I’ll trade my pasta poop salad for your pb&j!”
Ohhh. I suppose it was too late to get something from the coffee truck. Or would that amount to about the same thing?
Now I see how you get all these great posts up and comment on lotsa blogs and work at a job, too. No sleep. Yeah, that’ll do it, but you can’t do that furever. Even super bloggers need some rest.
lotsa licks, Lola
OH MY DOGS!!!!!! That shade of green bag is vaguely familiar…
I’m LOL with you for sure and in the future I’ll be very very careful when packing my own lunch.
Thanks for the tip on ‘paying mom back’….that particular idea had not crossed my mind.
Madi
In your spare time you may want to toilet train Sola and Truffles too. Problem solved-no more crappy lunches!
Oh God! How would I survive Monday mornings without you? I am so happy right now that I do have an easily recognizable lunch bag! But now I’m going to be looking at it a lot more closely!
Scary enough that that happened (and I can certainly see it happening here), but the bigger question is why no co-workers noticed a different aroma coming from your workspace?
Delicious! Just pretend it’s a mud pie.
hmmmm, who else should be toilet trained besides us dawgs??????? what a delish lunch bol!
chikisses
coco
Oh, not the way to start the day.
I hope you were able to go out for lunch at least. 
I read that OCD in Labs is fairly common. I had never heard of it before. Anyway, thanks for your well wishes for Nala.
Amber
You had me trying to stifle the giggles at work in a room full of co-workers! Very funny! The closest I’ve come to that is scooping the poop on a walk, and then putting the now full baggie in my coat pocket. I forget all about it, hang my coat back in the closet, and the next time I go to get my coat, the closet REEKS! At least there was no food contamination involved!
You really should grant yourself the luxury of a weekend off to just relax/sleep.
OH DAWG! that’s funny. Remind me to NEVER ask to trade lunches with you!
you really need more sleep and i really do sympathize.. but.. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is Nigel at work with you today? because this looks strangly like an excuse to go lunch at Hooters today…
BOLOLOLOL – be that is the last time you do that!!!
Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara
Your mornings sound very much like mine used to when I was working. Everything was very well orchestrated and one false move could mess up the entire flow of things and make me late.
Soooooo, I’m guessing you didn’t have lunch that day? lol
Sadly I can see that happening. I wait for the day I open my suitcase and find a dog toy in there.
Just finished yet another 14 hour day (project is nearing the end) and am trying to unwind when I read you post. It is absolutely hilarious to a sleep deprived person like myself!!!
Looks like a good excuse to go get pizza.
*chuckles* I guess you went hungry, huh? Some days are just more spaced out days than others. There’s a local term for it in my part the world – blur calamari. Not sure why a calamari …
T
I take that you passed on the prunes? Sounds like a tasty lunch! Heh heh…
Oh that is too funny! I hope you didn’t just waste your lunch, but offered it to someone else?