9 Signs Your Dog Is Running for President

This comes from the hilarious Chloe Bryan at Mashable. I do not take any credit whatsoever for this post!

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The presidential election isn’t until 2016, but the candidate field is already packed. At the time of writing, there are five democratic and 16 republican candidates — and if the recent GOP debate is any indication, they all have bones to pick with each other.

Ugh. At this point, it seems like everyone is running.

Anyway, have you noticed your dog has been acting strange lately? It’s probably nothing, but we noticed there’s a lot of The West Wing in your dog’s Netflix history. And that was you who Googled “very powerful super PAC,” right? No? Oh.

In that case, your dog may be contemplating a presidential run. Don’t worry; your dog is probably a long shot to win. But you should look out for these nine telltale signs anyway — you know, before the campaign starts.

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1. Your dog has been making mysterious trips to Iowa.

Usually your dog is content with a trip to the dog park. But lately, your dog has been making quiet visits to the kickoff state of Iowa, where your dog eats Dutch letters and discusses the Hawkeyes’ recruitment plan with local voters.

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2. Your dog has hired a team of advisors, but refuses to tell you why.

Wondering why a carefully selected group of campaign staffers has been hanging around your house lately? It could be because your dog has decided to run for president.

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3. Your dog won’t stop talking about net worth.

The construct of human wealth never used to mean much to your dog. But now, your dog keeps saying things like “I am a very rich man” and “My net worth? That, my friend, is a lot of money.” What gives?

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4. Your dog has been scouting potential VPs.

It was wrong of you to snoop inside your dog’s day planner, but if your dog has scheduled meetings with burgeoning members of Congress, there’s probably a presidential run in the works.

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5. Your dog is suddenly contacting well-connected relatives.

There’s no way your pet dog would be doing this if your dog didn’t need funding for an upcoming presidential campaign.

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6. Your dog has been asking to hold strangers’ babies.

Your dog never used to want to hold human babies. Now you can’t go for a walk without your dog asking to hold every baby you see.

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7. Your dog has begun to speak in concise slogans.

You: “Sit.”

Your dog: “Let’s put America back on top.”

What?!

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8. People won’t stop asking about your dog’s country of birth.

No one used to care about where your dog was born, but now, people won’t stop asking you to “hand over that dog’s birth certificate.”

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9. Your dog has said, “I, your dog, am not running for President of the United States.”

Your dog is bluffing. Everyone is running for president.

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