This irreverent narrative comes from the wonderful folks at Big Fluffy Dog Rescue in Nashville, which has lots of terrific dogs up for adoption:
Cheeto. Cheeto! Come here boy. Come on. Bring it Cheeto.
“Bring it? What are you? A WWF announcer? Seriously? I’m Cheeto! Everybody loves Cheetos! I’m a 14-week old Collie mix puppy. I love playing in the yard. Poking my nose at toads. Chasing butterflies and chewing on sticks and other things I can find.”
Yeah, sometimes that’s not so good for puppies Cheeto. I’m betting Foster Mama is helping you learn the right things to chew on huh?
“Oh yeah. So is the tiny human. She giggles. A lot! I love to make her giggle. A lot! I adore my Foster Mama. She calls me a Velcro dog because I gotta see her. It took a little bit more time to get used to the teacup human. Turns out she’s nice too. Then there was the biggest human. He had a deep, rumbly voice and it was kinda scary. So I watched and watched him and Foster Mama and the teacup really liked him. So after I checked him out, I decided I could like him too!”
Oh I see, so you’re a Romeo and like the ladies. Just take your time with kids and men.
“I like to think of it as recon. It’s all good though. Guess what else I’m doing? Guess! Guess!” (Okay. What?) I can go up all the stairs all by myself! I can go down a few too! I have excellent recall too! I’m working hard on my potty training, too. I can go 5-6 hours at night for sure. I’ve gone 7 recently and it’s getting better! During the day – 3 hours for sure! Cause you know, wiggling and playing makes it hard to hold it. Foster Mama says that I do beautifully on the leash, if a bit reluctantly.”
Oh that’s marvelous Cheeto. How’s the crate training going?
*Waves his paws in the air* “No. No. No. Now why’d you have to go and make it all ugly?”
Oh Cheeto. It’s not ugly. You’re a baby and it’s just how it goes. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re just learning. So let me guess. You go in and start chewing on your toys or chewy?
Then you realize you can’t see Foster Mama and you start to cry?
Then you get scared.
*Leans over and whispers in Cheeto’s ear* And then you feel all wiggly and your belly doesn’t feel good and before you know it, you poop in your crate?
*Slaps his tiny paws on the table and in an awestruck voice* “It’s like you’ve been watching me.”
Aww! Baby. It’s what happens. It’s all good. I’ll bet if you pay attention. Each time you go in the crate, you manage to last a bit longer before you get all scared and nervous and poop. Before you know it, you’ll be in your crate, all safe, snuggly and warm and can’t imagine anywhere you’d rather be when your people aren’t home. You’re doing just fine baby boy. You’re awesome Cheeto!
“Okay, then e-mail Jen and let’s go! [email protected].”