Post-Rapture Pet Care

“We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists,” begins the marketing pitch from Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. “Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.”

Bart Centre, owner of Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, is convinced that there is no such thing as heaven – and if there is, he says there is no way your pet is getting in. Centre is an atheist, but given the fact that he’s in the minority, he says it only makes sense to provide a service that will care for pets left behind if and when the big day comes – and some people believe that will happen as early as May 21st.

Centre founded the company in 2009 with the promise that when the time comes, a representative from his company will locate, secure and adopt your pet – for the sum of $135, plus $20 per additional animal. The fee guarantees coverage for ten years.

“Right now, we have over 250 clients,” Centre says. He is quick to point out that all company representatives are atheists – they must love animals, and must not love Jesus. “These are people not likely to be Raptured under any circumstances,” Centre said.

Life With Dogs post end paw print




Comments

  1. Well I guess we won’t have high unemployment on the 22nd of May.

    Blu

    • Anonymous says on  05/12/2011 at 10:32 pm

      Isn’t there a St. Something or Other that blesses the animals? I have to say, my hound has no religious leanings and as such really stays out of all wars! He has nothing bad to say to or about anyone and as far as I can tell, follows all the Ten Commandments. SO, I would say, if any of us is going to Heaven, it would be him. And I know he won’t leave without his mommy…so there you go!

  2. SSB Pack says on  05/12/2011 at 12:54 pm

    Can’t seem to find the words for this one……

  3. 250 x $135.00 = $33,750.00

    Hmmmmm

  4. Awe youse kidding? Children and pets, the most innocent, will be the first to be raptured…..they truly show the grace of our Lord!

    • SSB Pack says on  05/12/2011 at 2:40 pm

      Right you are!

      In fact, I expect all my former pets to be there waiting for me. If they aren’t, I’m coming back!

    • Anonymous says on  05/21/2011 at 4:30 pm

      All animals will go to Heaven. They’re little angles; they probably remember Heaven in a way that we can’t and that is why they are so peaceful and innocent. They embody everything good and pure in this world. I wouldn’t be surprised if they actually are the Guardian Angles sent to teach and comfort us. Obviously this guy found his rift. I love when he said, “I don’t believe in Heaven, BUT if there is a Heaven your pets are not getting in.” Which is it? If you truly dont believe in God I imagine you would never say “But if Jesus does return to Earth.”

    • Stevie's Mom says on  05/21/2011 at 4:42 pm

      I am confused? Is Life with dogs saying they are atheists? If so I feel sorry for their pets. God’s tremendous love is shown in our pets eyes when they gaze at you. All dogs (and every other animal for that) go to heaven.

  5. He must not have seen “All Dogs Go To Heaven”

  6. with his attitude he won’t even get close the Pearly Gates!

  7. Wendy says on  05/12/2011 at 3:51 pm

    while I could care less about the religious junk, planning who will care for your pet after your rapture, or more likely, death, is a VERY important thing to do.

  8. Cheri says on  05/12/2011 at 3:51 pm

    the bible clearly says in the earth made new, the lion will lay down with the lamb and eat straw. Our animals that we loved will be with us as well.

  9. Kim says on  05/12/2011 at 3:51 pm

    He should read Heaven is for Real, there are dogs in Heaven

  10. Teresa says on  05/12/2011 at 3:51 pm

    Duh, everyone knows DOG spelled backwards is GOD – hello!

    • Donna says on  05/12/2011 at 7:01 pm

      Your absolutely right Teresa. I have three Golden Girls waiting for me in Heaven right now and I know that the two Golden Retriever family members in my home today will be accompanying me when i go to heaven on…………May 21st? Guess I won’t be worrying about finding a job much longer.

  11. Kathy says on  05/12/2011 at 3:52 pm

    animals go to heaven……..they will be re-united with us!

  12. Kristie says on  05/12/2011 at 3:53 pm

    A heaven with out dogs is not a heaven for me.

  13. He may not think that Dogs go to Heaven, but Pope John Paul did!

  14. Beth says on  05/12/2011 at 3:53 pm

    well that is such a negative attitude….i KNOW wherever i will end up, ALL my furry ones will be there too, waiting for me :)

  15. Tim says on  05/12/2011 at 3:53 pm

    If God doesn’t let me bring in my dog, I’ll just stay here, thankyouverymuch.

  16. Shani says on  05/12/2011 at 3:54 pm

    All of my fur, fin and feathered babies will get in. I’m not so sure about me though. 😉

  17. Kathy says on  05/12/2011 at 3:54 pm

    without a doubt, our most precious friends will be there….

  18. Leigh Anne says on  05/12/2011 at 3:54 pm

    That is hilarious!

  19. Lynne says on  05/12/2011 at 3:54 pm

    Well, great so all the pets I’m seeing that need homes because their owners have died can go to this group? That’s fantastic because I know of a woman in New Jersey who just died leaving 4 dogs. What’s this groups phone number?

  20. Hollie Bookwalter says on  05/12/2011 at 3:54 pm

    Guess he doesn’t understand about the name DGO>>>GOD, for good reason. Dog’s are the closest in unconditional, nonjudgemental love kust like Father God. He is never wrong and He named all the creatures of Heaven and Earth and gave each of us gifts. Dogs were blessed and those of us who own them are blessed. :))

  21. Eileen says on  05/12/2011 at 3:55 pm

    What a load of rubbish.

  22. Patrick says on  05/12/2011 at 3:56 pm

    If my dog and my previous pets aren’t allowed in heaven, then there is no heaven. Our pets and our wildlife are more deserving of heaven than most people. If heaven is closed to animals, there is no God!

  23. Was it Will Rogers who said “If dogs aren’t in Heaven, then I don’t want to go there.” ?

  24. Shari says on  05/12/2011 at 3:58 pm

    I’m confused. Why must each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet employee be an atheist? Per fundamentalist Christians, *NO* other religion’s followers will be raptured/saved. So why can’t pet caretakers be Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Jain, Hindu, Sikh, Wiccan, Pagan, Shinto, Baha’i or any other religious/spiritual path? I’m not trying to be contrary; I’m just pointing out what seems to be an unfairly contrary aspect of the pet service itself! :(

  25. Cuz we all know pets don’t have souls (loaded with sarcasm). I’d rather burn with my pets than go to heaven without them.

  26. That’s …kind of weird, but it’s still a company that provides care for your animals after you die – so I don’t see what the fuss is about. And I’m an athiest too – I assume there is nothing beyond this life, for me or my animals, which is why I treasure every moment with them and try to help as many as I can in the time I have.

  27. Wendy says on  05/12/2011 at 4:01 pm

    why would someone believe their pet would miss the rapture?

  28. Kathy says on  05/12/2011 at 4:01 pm

    @Leigh…..what is funny?

  29. “If they don’t have dogs in heaven, when I die, I want to go where they do.” ~Will Rodgers

  30. All religious matters aside, this is a genius scam idea. Surprised I’ve never heard about it before. Wonder if you can get a refund if your pet dies before the rapture occurs?

  31. Leslie Richards says on  05/12/2011 at 4:14 pm

    I am volunteering to help gather left-behind pets when the Big Day comes!

  32. HoneyB says on  05/12/2011 at 4:19 pm

    I can’t believe 250 people have already fallen for this. It doesn’t make sense that a person who believes in the rapture and feels prepared for it, would also believe their beloved pets would not be allowed in heaven.

  33. Anonymous says on  05/12/2011 at 4:22 pm

    For sure you wont be in heaven to see the dogs there, and for that matter you came up with yours distorced ideas. You are very confused. If atheists dont believe in Jesus why they feel so threat by Jesus? Your sentence “they must love animals, and must not love Jesus. “ Telle me how much you know that Jeus exist and how much you are confused about your ideas! I am praying for you juses son.

  34. mmttw says on  05/12/2011 at 4:28 pm

    Yup! My guys are going with me. No need to worry. It’s sad that these people are acting this way. If they believe there is a need for them, they ust somewhere inside believe there is a Heaven that we are going to. Why wouldn’t they want to go too?

  35. Coverage I won’t need – my doggies have been blessed on the Feast of St. Francis – I refuse to believe they are atheists!

  36. Alrighty then….

  37. Kathy says on  05/12/2011 at 5:43 pm

    Geez, I wish I’d thought of this first! I’ll do it for just $100 per animal, nonrefundable in the event that the Rapture gets rescheduled.

  38. Melissa Marak says on  05/12/2011 at 6:09 pm

    LOL… this is one of the most ridiculous things i’ve heard!
    I’m very sure right now my dearest Twiggy, Jovi, Lizzie,Blossom, Spotty, Dombret and Isabelle (lost loved ones since I was 6) are playing tag with each other up above. Infact I know they are watching over me and my two furry babies every single moment of the day.

  39. Jesse says on  05/12/2011 at 7:15 pm

    I guess I never thought of animals being raptured with us…that would actually make sense. God does not see them as sinners I’m sure, and so I’m sure he would take them away from the suffering…perhaps my pup will go to heaven when I do if I live to see Jesus return. I FULLY believe my first dog is in heaven waiting for me now, so why wouldn’t they come with us? I’ve always seriously feared for my pup if it were to happen-being trapped in the apartment or whatnot like those poor dogs and cats in Japan. But now I feel better…this is a scam, and my pup will come with me <3

  40. loz says on  05/12/2011 at 7:53 pm

    Yeh I guess if it makes you warm and fuzzy inside, go ahead, believe in such things as god and heaven. I would like to think my fur babies go to rainbow bridge but unfortunately there is such a thing called science and the theory of evolution guys!! : /

  41. Leah says on  05/12/2011 at 11:28 pm

    My dogs are 100 times better than I am so if I get to go to heaven there’s no way they aren’t going. This seems like a scam to me. What about all of the pets who lose family members everyday? Who steps in to take care of them? That would be a more legit business to me. A group to step in and take care of animals whose caregivers passed away.

  42. Monica says on  05/13/2011 at 3:44 pm

    Are you kidding me!! He’s going the opposite direction and I don’t want him to be anywhere NEAR my pets! What a shister!

  43. There’s a whole Rapture industry out there… I saw one service that would send emails to those left behind after you got Raptured!

  44. Anonymous says on  05/18/2011 at 1:19 pm

    These people are atheists taking the money of the already gullible religious among you. There is no god, heaven or afterlife, it DOESN”T MAKE ANY SENSE. I don’t expect that there will be refunds after May 21st, because if you’re worried, you must not believe enough and then you won’t be ascending to heaven anyway. See how dumb that is? Wow, the amount of meatheads in the world is amazing. Have fun living life for a pretend afterlife that will never come, trying to please a make believe santa claus figure in the clouds. You suck.

  45. Susan says on  05/21/2011 at 3:57 pm

    HAHA – I just did an investigative article about this site – look for it in next week’s paper!

  46. Carrie says on  05/21/2011 at 3:58 pm

    Oh, please. Pets are sinless. All of them are going to be wondering where WE all are. 😛

  47. Christine says on  05/21/2011 at 3:59 pm

    just WHAT makes them think the animals would be left behind!!!!!!!!

  48. How funny!

  49. omfg….Pets DO have a Haven…I’m a Shaman, I’ve had the honor of journeying to the realm for animals…the Pagans call it “the Summer Land”…It’s beautiful there!

  50. Um….Apparently this guy doesn’t know that ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN!! He probably thinks they don’t have souls, either :)

  51. Tracy says on  05/21/2011 at 4:00 pm

    i want no part of a heaven that does not inclued our pets! xoxo

  52. I ain’t going without my dogs …period….

  53. Susan says on  05/21/2011 at 4:03 pm

    I personally believe that God would not be so cruel as to leave my babies behind. When I go, they’ll go with me. :)

  54. Christine, it’s because the bible doesn’t say anything about the pets. And I believe you have to be a true believer, a christian to ‘go’..

  55. if my pet isn’t getting in, i’m not going either

  56. Zayre says on  05/21/2011 at 4:06 pm

    i wont go nowhere if not with my bebes!!!

  57. Shani says on  05/21/2011 at 4:06 pm

    I want to go wherever Nigel goes.

  58. I wonder if they have a no refund policy after the 21st

  59. I would like to think that even my dogs will be in the afterlife with me whether it is heaven or another demension

  60. Nicole says on  05/21/2011 at 4:09 pm

    I don’t believe in god or the rapture or any of that other stuff. I do think it’s funny that they all have to be atheist to work there! I’d like to be able to believe there was something more for us & for the animals but alas, I can’t (no need to comment on feeling sorry for me living without god…I’ve heard it all many times 😉 Figuring out what will happen to your pet once you’re gone however, is no laughing matter and something we should all make sure we have taken care of. Regardless of religion, or a lack thereof!!

  61. Christine says on  05/21/2011 at 4:16 pm

    the rapture was invented by a clegyman in 19th century. it is rubbish. i believe in God and the afterlife. animals are creations just like us. they DO exist after death.

  62. Spreti says on  05/21/2011 at 4:18 pm

    better question, why didn’t i think of it first?

  63. Laura says on  05/21/2011 at 4:22 pm

    I saw this last week and I laughed. Remember the passage in the bible about God knowing when even the tiniest sparrow falls?! He created everything, and he loves everything he created. Of course animals are in heaven!! That’s part of what makes it heaven. If today is our last day here, hope to see all of you in heaven. I’ll be the one with the fox red dog that is jumping in the puddles. The dog…not me! Hey are there puddles in heaven?!! Do all of you remember those churches a while back that were having a sign duel about if dogs go to heaven? Was that re-posted on here? That would be hilarious to see again. One believed that pets don’t go…the other did.

  64. Laney says on  05/21/2011 at 4:22 pm

    DO NOT POST THIS CRAP ON MY FACEBOOK EVER AGAIN! IF “LIFE WITH DOGS” IS AFFILATED WITH THIS “NUT” PLEASE LET ME KNOW SO I CAN TAKE YOU OFF! HEAVEN IS SOMETHING THAT I TAKE SERIOUS & PEOPLE LIKE THIS FOOL ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF OTHERS!!

  65. Chris says on  05/21/2011 at 4:25 pm

    lol…..what an idiot!!! and its a shame cuz there are people out there who will “buy” into this scam.

  66. What right do you have to take offence to an opinion Laney? do all of us a favour and leave, we’re hear for the dogs, not just one DOG.

  67. Keely says on  05/21/2011 at 4:29 pm

    It’s posted on here because of the irony of it and because all this crap is part of the discussions going on today o every news channel, newspaper and media source period. Life with Dogs is not “condoning” this. Geeze. Take your cap locks off, take a deep breath and frigging chill. LOL

  68. Dallas says on  05/21/2011 at 4:29 pm

    I’m a scared of heights, I can’t go there !

  69. One day, I’ll be going to see my precious pets that left me behind. I can hardly wait to see them again. I’m sure by the time I do get there, a few more of those precious pets will be there to greet me also.

  70. What about St.Francis the patron saint of animals, I’m sure that he and God will see to it that our furry ones will be cared for. Did these guys ever read the “Rainbow Bridge”?

  71. I wouldn’t want to go to a heaven without my pets, and it would be very irresponsible to leave them behind. God would not ask me to do so. :)

  72. Anonymous says on  05/21/2011 at 5:07 pm

    He says he’s an atheist and everyone that works there must be atheist but sounds to me more like agnostic. Not sure if there is a heaven – atheists would rather die than say “if”. At any rate, I have to feel sorry for anyone that doesn’t believe in the soul – of a person or an animal and obviously, heaven and hell.

  73. Anonymous says on  05/21/2011 at 5:56 pm

    There is no heaven or hell (except what you make of your life on Earth) and no one is going anywhere…until someone pushes that little red button…then we will just be gone.

  74. Anonymous says on  05/22/2011 at 3:07 am

    all of you are freaken dumb ass people! lmao this link is too hilarious!!!!

  75. colette says on  05/22/2011 at 8:43 am

    anything for a buck…..

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